Why I Could Care Less if You’re Wearing a Sports Bra on Instagram

August 8, 2019

It was a busy Monday. I had exactly one million and one things on my to-do list, but instead of hunkering down at my computer tapping away at the keys like Liberace, I was sitting in a French café sipping a lavender mimosa in the middle of the afternoon with three dear friends. For the record, I had taken a 6 a.m. spin class that morning, so at least there’s that.

Drinking mimosas in the middle of a workday — a Monday no less — is not something I’ve ever done. But then again, my best friend, who also happens to be a mom of two girls, had never had a double mastectomy before or been about to start five months of chemo and radiation.

So yes, we drank mimosas on a Monday.

It’s powerful moments like these that explain why I’ve been largely absent the past few months with fewer articles about running and photos on social media. I started this website seven years ago (good God how has that much time gone by!?!) because I was profoundly changed by the courage and power that come from doing something you once thought was impossible (i.e., running a marathon) and discovering that you’re stronger than you think (i.e., running seven more marathons and shaving an hour off your finish time in the process). Once you’ve run long enough, you learn that running is SO much more than just running. It’s about finding and unleashing the full potential inside you, not just on the pavement (or trails), but every day in everything we do.

But somewhere down the line, websites like this that started as personal stories to engage and inspire others got overrun with sponsored posts and search engine optimization and the rat race to grow Instagram followers. The democratization of branding and commercialization of blogging have led to authentic runners with authentic voices now taking months of professional photos to increase their likes while oozing inspiration porn in just about every single message. Isn’t it possible that some days you just run four completely average miles and are #done? No message about body positivity. No story about overcoming obstacles. No intense experience of struggle. Just those four miles. C’mon, there’s got to be at least one normal day, right???

The more of this content I see, the more I pulled away. Running is still an important part of my life. I’m running several times a week at a pretty pedestrian pace with great friends. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make for a very compelling storyline. At least 250 people who’ve stopped following me on Instagram when I started posting less content about training and more of leisurely jogs and a damn cute baby can confirm that as fact. Real life is for the birds, eh?

Which brings me back to sports bras and Instagram.

Maybe it’s the season of life I’m in. Maybe I’ve changed as I’ve gotten older. Maybe it’s just that when you have a best friend dealing with the reality of breast cancer and you’re running a business that’s actually trying to make a difference in the world while holding onto every moment of your daughter’s childhood … you just don’t give a damn if someone is wearing a sports bra on Instagram or if they feel good about it. (Or what they ate for dessert. Or who paid them to post about the latest running gadget. Or …, well, you get the point.) Don’t get me wrong, I want to be the first to line up to celebrate others’ victories. I actually love social media and appreciate it for the many connections it brings to my daily life. I’ve even posted about sports bras before and got my mom in on the action (GASP!). I’m simply yearning for the days when the messages and the messengers were more authentic and when we didn’t miss living an imperfectly perfect moment because we were too busy trying to capture it from its best angle.

Comments

Beckett @ Birchwood Pie

I hear you! I barely use Facebook anymore because for every real post from my friends the next 10 posts are ads. I don’t blame anyone for trying to make money from their blog, but I want to read about real people doing real things. Whether they post everyday about the same old run or once every few months that they drank mimosas;-) I’m always there for that. I treat ads and sponsored posts like commercials on TV – it’s fair that they exist and it’s also fair that I’m going to fast forward (use AdBlock) or walk away for a few minutes (unfollow).

Kristina Murphy

YES YES YES! I am so with you. It is tiring to even consider keeping up with the whole thing. I miss seeing you (in person, and online) but am so glad it’s because we’re actually, you know, living our “#bestlives” 😉

Shannah

LOVE this post 💕

Amy

There’s a lot of truth here. Thank you for taking the time to write it. Also, I’m sorry to hear about your friend.

Mike Podracky

Jesica, I have closely followed you here for about six years and learned a lot from unladylike.com. I do admit that with the altered emphasis on motherhood and non-competitive running I have lost interest. As you aptly note, running should be whatever a person wants it to be, and obviously motherhood has a profound affect having had two girls myself. For my fix on competitive running information, unladylike was always a great resource. It’s drastically changed, however, and that’s ok too. Best wishes in all your endeavors. Your writing has always been first rate.

rUnladylike

Thanks so much for your honesty Mike and for always being a great encourager and participant in our shared conversation. I hope you’re doing well and running happy!