Everything Happens for a Reason
Why is it that when something sad or frustrating happens in our lives, we always say – either to ourselves or to others – “Everything happens for a reason?”
It’s such a cliché, but I found myself saying it this afternoon when I saw these words in my email: “Regrettably, we are unable to accept your application…”
I knew those were the words I was going to receive, having run just 54 seconds faster than my Boston qualifying time at the Chicago Marathon last year, but it didn’t make it any less disappointing. It was a year ago this weekend that I crossed the finish line with complete joy, exceeding my expectations and running an hour faster than my first marathon in the exact same city. I recall texting and sharing the words “see you in Boston” with running friends everywhere. Well, I lied. Unintentionally, of course.
As I shared last week, running isn’t about qualifying for Boston or running the Boston Marathon (although most of us would love to do both). It’s about the transformation that happens when you believe you can’t do something and then defy your limits proving you can. For me, it was never believing I could run a 3:34 marathon, doing it and now believing I can run much faster. That is transformation. Deep and profound. That’s all that really matters.
But it doesn’t make today’s news any easier to swallow.
I admittedly felt sad when I read the email. It wasn’t until I got to the airport late today and was finally alone that I cried in the bathroom, safely inside my private stall where no one could see my tears. I had visualized running Boston in 2016 for so long, and learning I’d achieved something amazing but that it still wasn’t good enough – about 90 seconds not good enough to be exact – hit me harder than I anticipated. The good news is, there are many more miles and many more races ahead. It’s not a “no,” it’s just a “not yet.”
At the beginning of this year, I shared with you that my real goal was to dial back mileage and run for fun so I could focus on trying to start a family and add a little unladylike person to the mix. Maybe this unfortunate news did happen for a reason. Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten to run it anyway if fate works in my favor. I guess time will tell.
Congratulations to everyone who qualified and to everyone who will be running the Boston Marathon in April. The only way success is defined is by the way we define it for ourselves. When running gives you lemons, get your cry on and then get back at it. There’s much more running to conquer. xo
What races are you planning to run in 2016?
Comments
YES – it’s just a not yet. And I have NO doubts you’ll run Boston when the timing is just right. Besides, the world needs more unladylike people. Who else is gonna tell me it’s ok to poo in the woods before an ironman? Heart you.
I love your attitude.
“The only way success is defined is by the way we define it for ourselves.”
This is so true. I dream of running Boston, and I have yet to qualify. My PR is 20 minutes too slow right now, but I truly believe I can run 3:30 and get there. But it’s not only about a BQ. I want to run 3:30 to run 3:30. And above all, it’s about the adventure of getting there and learning how good I can actually be in this sport.
Best wishes to you in the future.
Yes, yes, yes, Lindsay! I couldn’t have said it better myself. And yes, you WILL get there. I have shaved an entire hour off of my time and know I have at least 10 more minutes in the short-term to keep improving. If I can do it, you will definitely do it! I love what a journey running takes us on, and how it continues to empower us to defy our limits. xoxo
So very sorry you did not get a spot for 2016. There are so many others, like you, who are sorely disappointed and rightly so. After working incredibly hard to meet a time standard, it is rough to have your hopes dashed. I know so many runners who missed the cutoff by such a small amount including one of the coaches of my running group here in Wilmington, NC. I remember in 2014, just before my attempt to qualify, my coach told me I need 2:30 minutes under the BQ time for my age group. As it turns out, last year, it was a much kinder cutoff than this year and I was fortunate to have the perfect race conditions to meet the BQ plus 5. I still consider myself a squeaker and was thrilled with the opportunity to run 2015. Best wishes on adding a wee one to your household and yes, you will get another chance to toe the line in Hopkinton.
I’m sorry. I know what it feels like to get that email (I did not take it very well — lots of tears). I hope you are able to use that as motivation and have your best marathon ever in the coming year!
P.S. Best wishes as well in expanding your family! When I had my first baby I was living in Boston and she was born on marathon weekend. I wasn’t a runner than and I was so mad at this race for blocking the roads I was trying to drive on to get my precious newborn home from the hospital. Who knew that 13 (!) years later my goal would be to qualify for that race!
I’m so sorry you got that email too. I’m thinking of you! How special that your daughter was born on marathon weekend and you then became a marathon runner. Such a powerful metaphor for all that is to come for what you BOTH can and will do. xoxo
I’m so sorry. That’s definitely hard news to swallow, and I think your reaction was absolutely normal. The cutoff was huge this year 🙁 You will make it there again, but it seems that, in spite of it all, your focus may be in other facets of your life. Good luck to you guys 🙂
I’m so sorry you had to cry in the bathroom of an airport all by yourself. That’s just not right. This is what I do know – every single disappointment I’ve had like this actually DOES happen for a reason. It’s annoying. I’m sure it’s very hard to hear that right now but you just don’t know what fate has planned for you! xo
Thanks Allie. Can’t wait for your humor to cheer me up on Friday. Maybe all of the fastness around me this weekend will rub off. LOL. xoxoxo
So sorry, despite knowing that perhaps it wasn’t the right time I totally would have cried anyways. It sucks because 90 seconds doesn’t seem that long but they need to make a cutoff somehow I suppose. I know it’s a hippie-dippie way to think, but I do believe the universe puts you where you need to be!
Oh Jes, I’m sorry. But yes to “not yet” and I wish you so much luck and love and all good things for this year when you discover what not running Boston might open up for you. Big hugs to you! xoxo
Thank you so much Carly! Hugs back. xo
It’s hard to swallow right now but it will make it even sweeter when you do go. Yes WHEN you go. It will happen and when it does, it will all make sense. Keep kicking ass!
oh no 🙁
I’m so sorry! You will get there one day, I’m sure of it!
Nothing can be said to take the sting of disappointment away, but I will say this; of all the runners I follow and know….I’d bet the house on you to BQ 🙂 and aside from seeing the Mr. The Upcoming weekend should be a great time/way to getaway, literary, weather not withstanding, you ARE going to crush it, deep down, own that, know that 🙂 keep on crushing it :)all our best, ttyl 🙂
Thanks so much Bill. Always so grateful for your support and encouragement. Can’t wait to meet your wife this weekend!!! xo
I’m sorry to hear this Jesica! These Boston standards are getting so tough and it’s so hard when you think you’ve qualified but really don’t even know if you’ll be able to run the race. We’ll both be running that race one day, we’ll just have to do it when the time is right.
Thanks Nicole! Hoping you and I are there the same year sometime soon. xoxo
Jesica, it does suck to BQ but not get to run due to the cut-off line. If everyone that BQs gets to run, I guess that would cut down on the number of paid “charity sponsored” runners that Boston accepts, which is substantial. I am sure this is a tough call for the BM officials on this trade-off. Nevertheless, that time you ran in Chicago was awesome.
Thanks so much Mike! The charity runners are important. They are helping people in much greater need than me so I wouldn’t want them to be decreased. Just have to keep getting faster. Thanks for your kind words.
I’m so sorry you didn’t get a spot. Your positive attitude about it, even when it stings, is really admirable. You are so right, sometimes life’s disappointments end up working out for the best. That’s definitely been the case in my experience. So not “no”, just “not yet”. You will get there I’m sure.
I am so sorry but know you will reach your goals and get there! Stay strong! I am one who went to qualify for Boston and did way better than imagined with a 3:19 which also qualified me for NYC so I was able to run both in 2013. Ran a PR in Boston of 2:57 and NYC 3:01 ( with an injury) and qualified for next years races in both but unfortunately was plagued and sidelined with health issues. I am just now getting back to running but am having hiccups of injuries as I increase mileage to train but I know God has a plan and I always remember He gave me this passion so I know I am not done yet! Running is my passion and I will never give up! Love and blessings
You’ll get in. I only did because of a stupid mistake. I trained the whole time based on the age I would be AT BOSTON instead of the age I was at the qualifying race! Duh! Party on! A BQ is always a BQ!
I am so sorry, you are taking a lot better than I would have. I know a lot of runners who got the same email. I think you are a great runner.
bakingrunner.blogspot.com
I follow you on Facebook and saw this and had to comment. I had several friends who worked extremely hard to qualify and got this same news. You are still an amazing athlete to even qualify, and as hard as it is to accept, sometimes it is good to just be upset for a few hours or a day or two, but then move on to other goals. Running is about so much more than a time or a particular race- it truly transforms your life and makes us much better people in general. You’ve qualified before and you can definitely qualify again!
Hi Amy! Thanks so much for following on Facebook and taking the time to share your thoughtful words. I completely agree with you and share the same sentiment. I look forward to sharing with you guys about the race that creates another magical moment I hope. xoxo
It’s so very hard to work toward a goal for such a long time only to have it fall through at the very end. Disappointment like this is tough. I’m so sorry.
I’ve been reading for a while now and I love your spirit and attitude. I know you have totally awesome things in store for the near future — even if that doesn’t include Boston in 2016. (And hey, it’s awesome that you BQ’d, I am in such awe of people who do!)
Hi Natalie! Thank you so very much for reading and for your kind words. That means a lot to me. Thank you, thank you!
As I said to you yesterday, you are incredibly inspiring and this couldn’t possibly take away from that. You are still a Boston qualifier, that hasn’t changed. Does that mean this isn’t tough, not in the least. Grab a glass of wine, and allow yourself to be frustrated and upset and then I know you will get back out there. Maybe you run another marathon and qualify for ’17, or maybe a bun ends up in the oven, maybe neither happen. Who knows, but what I do know if you are still awesome and no matter what- you’re bound to do great things.
For the record, I totally know you have it in you to run a faster qualifying time, Chicago last year was just the tip of the iceberg!
Thanks so much Laura. I really appreciate it. It has been so fun to watch you knock goal after goal out of the park. Your journey has been so inspiring. I’ll see you in Boston some day soon. xo
I’m so sorry and frustrated for you – you worked so hard and deserved a spot! You’re still a Boston qualifier, and even more than that, you’re an incredibly inspiring runner – I just re-read your Chicago recap as I mentally prep to try to BQ and it inspired me so much!
Whether you qualify and run it in 2017 or have a little bun (or baby runladylike!) by then, you are accomplishing so much. Everything happens for a reason!
Thank you so much Laura. I’m so grateful for all your support and encouragement week after week. I’m so excited for you this weekend. You have been killing your training and you WILL do this. I can’t wait to follow you along and cheer for you virtually when you nab that victory. xoxoxo
Your post is very uplifting (hopefully not just to others but to you, also!)! There is always a reason for things so focus on that! I’m so sorry you did not qualify but feel very confident you will get it next time – you are a sensational runner!!
Thank you so much Audrey. I really appreciate your words. xo
hey jesica – so sorry about this news. i can honestly say that i kjnow how you feel, because this was the exact spot that i was in last year (having qualified with a mere 17 seconds to spare)! i was seriously bummed even though i’d made my BQ goal after several years of trying … but did resolved to keep on trying to better myself. this year i managed to qualify with over 13 minutes to spare (thanks to moving up an age category – but i would have qualified with over 3 minutes to spare in my previous AG) – and i’m pulling for you to do the same next year!
Hi Patrick. Thank you SO much for sharing your story with me. Yay for your victory! I also age up next year, and my goal is to qualify with the same standard as my current age range. I love your story and I hope I’ll be sharing a similar one sooner rather than later. Congrats on your amazing accomplishment. I hope you’ll let me know how the race goes in April. xoxo
Oh Jes, I’m so so very sorry. I can’t believe how much under the qualifying time you had to run this year in order to get into the Boston Marathon. As others have said, you have still accomplished something that not many can say that they have. You are an amazing athlete and I can’t wait to see you this weekend and give you a big hug!
I am so sorry. I hate that they cannot take everyone who got a BQ.
You should feel really proud about just qualifying for Boston. That, in and of itself is no small task! That being said, I am sure receiving the email was still hard to read.Keep your chin up! You inspire many to do better, work harder, take chances, fulfill dreams. Your time will come!
Thank you for your very kind words and constant support. It really means a lot! xo
So sorry to hear that you didn’t make it in this year. I do believe things happen for a reason, that things are setting up for you the way they are meant to. Hopefully you’ll feel better soon!
Thank you for your post! You have such a positive attitude, it moved me to tears. I also go the dreaded email, I missed by 60 seconds. I BQed at Philly and keep thinking about the snags and how if I only ran each mile a few seconds faster. I hope you get in next year!
Hi Meg. I’m so sorry you got that same email. Be so proud of your accomplishment, and hopefully we’ll see each other in 2017. Thinking of you! xoxo
Big hugs to you, Jesica. This is definitely a not yet, not a no. I have no doubt that you will have an amazing race in Boston one day. 🙂
Dear Jesica, don`t worry.I have the feeling you certainly will run Boston in the near future and your child will await you at the finish line!!
I’m so sorry you didn’t make it in. I ran across your blog as a suggestion from BlogLovin and when I saw the Boston picture in the header, I thought, “I’m not sure I want to read about another person who made it in.”…. because I didn’t make the cut either. Totally sucks, right? I had my cry too, and even though I still feel ripped off, I’m making my plans to give it another go. It was such a great goal that we both achieved, too bad it didn’t get to reach the end to get the “prize”. Another day for Boston for both of us!! 🙂
I had to come back and comment, even though we’ve talked about it… you qualified- that’s such an accomplishment in and of itself (heck, so it finishing a marathon!!). Your day will come- I know this year hasn’t gone as planned- but sometimes we just don’t know what that PLAN is just yet. I’m proud of you…you’ve learned a lot about yourself during the process and that is truly something so big!